Calm, Cool and Committed

Three Moms and a Dude

Let’s Live Together First!

on April 5, 2013

The Dude is a little frustrated. While Molar Mother and Mea banter, quite fruitfully, over how to 12-step your way to a better marriage, CNN is posting this article: http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/04/living/women-premarital-cohabitation/index.html?hpt=hp_c3 . To save you the time, this article essentially says that living together before marriage is not only becoming more common in America, but it’s also been shown to lead to more marriages. I mean isn’t that what our country needs? More marriages! Not lasting marriages, not happy marriages, not healthy marriages, just more. More. More. Low on cash? Move in with your boyfriend. Been together long enough? Share an apartment. Don’t want to rush into anything? Pick out matching towels, but hold off on the rings.

I know what some will say: We lived together before we got married, and our marriage is completely happy. Hey, that’s great for you. But isn’t part of the fun of marriage learning what it’s like to live with your lover and best friend (I’m assuming those are the same person)? If you’ve already done that before getting married, then what’s actually changed for you aside from how you fill out your W-4?

I realize that we live in a society that scoffs at traditional values (I mean God forbid people waited to have sex until marriage), but when did we decide that marriage was simply the next step in a long line of relational intimacy intervals? When did America start seeing marriage as something to be decided upon over a bowl of lucky charms at the breakfast bar where you eat with your live-in partner? If that’s all marriage is anymore, then why even bother?

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