Calm, Cool and Committed

Three Moms and a Dude

Opinions (Not) Wanted

on August 10, 2012

*Note from the author*
Hi!  Thanks for reading this blog.  Before you read this post, I wanted to clarify some things.  My first and foremost goal with every blog is to try and be witty and funny.  I am aware that sometimes I fail massively at this.  My intent is not to offend.  As Emily W states in her comment below, many people’s opinions are results of circumstance and upbringing, and not necessarily reflections of the person who holds them.  I know several people who don’t support gay marriage, or even think homosexuality is sinful.  I do not think those people are bad.  I think they’re simply misinformed, or poorly educated, or — more than likely — aren’t close friends with someone gay.  However, I will continue to take a stand against these badly-formed opinions because they’re hurtful and malicious.  The opinions are hurtful and malicious, not necessarily the people (although sometimes it is the people who are hurtful).

When you read my posts, please don’t think I’m attacking you.  I’m usually not that good at veiling my criticism.  Feel free to comment me and let me know your thoughts.

I hope you enjoy my writing, but if you don’t, I hope I at least haven’t offended you.

********************

 

I’m opinionated.  Very.  My opinions range from the mundane (bread should be refrigerated) to the much debated (capital punishment is wrong).  I’m never shy about giving my opinion, especially on Facebook.

Why? 

Well, first, it’s easier to maintain a level playing field on the web.  Not easy, just easier.  When I’m typing, the other person’s tone of voice, physical actions and facial expressions aren’t viewable.  It’s like watching a horror movie with the lights on and the sound off.  Have you ever debated someone who starts yelling at you?  Yeah, no fun.  A shouter usually win the debate because no one wants to get yelled at.

Second, there’s more time to choose my words.  When you state your opinion in person, you have to give it on the fly.  The internet allows time to think, delete, rewrite, and then delete again (though I don’t always use the delete key as often as I should).

Lastly, and as my husband would probably say most importantly, online discussions give people cojones that they wouldn’t have in a face-to-face situation.

This opinion-giving penchant of mine has caused some problems.  Relatives have unfriended me, my husband’s gotten yelled at for something I’ve said.  I’ve made more than one friend angry.

In order to stop getting in so much trouble, and to help you learn from my mistakes, I’ve come up with a few rules about giving opinions.  These apply to Facebook, but feel free to put them to use in other aspects of your life.

Opinion-Giving Don’ts!

1)    DON’T argue with someone’s mom.
Facebook is an odd place in that I’m now friends with several of my parents’ friends and several of my friends’ parents.  Never before have generations mixed in such a way.  Yet, just because you’re friends with your 5th grade bestie’s mom, that doesn’t mean you should challenge her tea party ethics.

2)    DON’T let everyone see your opinion.
A good way to avoid this is by creating several Facebook groups and hiding posts from them as necessary.
Helpful labels?  Husband’s FamilyMy FamilyJerks Who Don’t Know Anything.

3)    DON’T tell someone their point is invalid because they can’t spell correctly.
Even though this is true, it’s not a helpful argument.

4)    DON’T think you’ll change someone’s mind.
This is the hardest thing for me.  The reason I post my opinions is because I think they’re RIGHT.  And I want people to do the right thing.  Honestly, I want to make the world a better place.  My husband always asks why I bother – he says I won’t change anyone’s mind…

And that brings me to my final thought.

After reading all this, you might say I should have a fifth don’t – don’t express your opinions.

But that’s a terrible idea.  Remaining quiet is sometimes much, much worse than stating an opinion and ruffling feathers.  Sometimes we need to stand up for what is right, just like the Bible tells us – “But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door…”

Or, if you don’t like the Bible, it’s just like Martin Luther King, Jr. said –

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.

So I challenge you — even if you’re passive, even if you don’t like controversy — stand up for what is right and good!  If you see humans attacking other humans, you must fight against the evil.  For surely, if you are silent and allow others to spread hate through their opinions, you are no better than they.

And with that I will leave you with my opinion, through someone else’s words.

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8 responses to “Opinions (Not) Wanted

  1. Jo says:

    I still prefer Edmund Burke’s quote “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” And I’m surprised that you don’t find the labels “Husband’s Family” and “Jerks Who Don’t Know Anything” redundant 😀

  2. Emily W. says:

    I love reading your opinions and the debates they create. One thing we all need to remember is that our opinions are formed and based on our life experiences and what we deem as facts. When one stands up for “what is right,” in their humble opinion, it may not be what is right for someone else. For instance, I adimately believe that breast feeding is THE BEST choice for the health of both baby and mom. However, I understand that it does not fit into the life style or circumstances (or the favor) for every woman and I believe every woman has the right to choose how she will feed her baby. Arguments based on circumstance and opinion will not change my view about breast feeding. This doesn’t mean another mom is in the wrong, but she has a differing view. Regardless, mom’s need to support each other and the choices they make for their family, even if we may disagree. If people didn’t disagree and debate life would be boring :/ who wants that?
    P.S. I deleted a few things in my revision, lol!

    • Molar Mother says:

      Hehe, the post I wrote but deleted was a continuation of Emily G’s post on “moms attacking moms” where I referenced breastfeeding. Hehe.

      I’m interested on how each of us determine what we “let go” (I know Mea and I will just let go on our mommy brain opinions) and what we decide to fight for.

  3. Miranda says:

    Great post! I don’t think it is offensive at all. In fact, you don’t even need the note from the author! No one (that I know of…) is being forced to read your opinions or posts! We are all different. That’s just life. You and I disagree most of the time, but we still love eachother!

    Oh and Emily W., I love your response! I totally agree with you!

    One other thing…what’s the point of writing if it doesn’t create a reaction of some kind??

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